Hello friends!
It’s time for another installment of my occasional Tells Us series, in which I ask an author to tell us about five things. It’s a true pleasure to have my beloved friend Roda Ahmed sharing her brilliant heart with you today. Roda and I met ten years ago, when she and our mutual friend, Maggie Doyne, popped by a book event I was doing in NYC for the release of Brave Enough. The connection was instant. Over the past decade our deepening friendship has extended to include our families as well—together, in various formations, we’ve traveled in Hong Kong, Nepal, and Norway, hung out in California, Oregon and Colorado, and, perhaps most importantly, my husband Brian and I have a daily Wordle battle with Roda’s husband Tor via an epic text thread full of loving trash talk and begrudging applause.
Roda was born in Somalia, but spent most of her childhood in Norway where, in her twenties, her debut novel, “Forberedelsen” (The Preparation), became a national bestseller. After she moved to the United States, she began writing children’s books, such as Etta Extraordinaire and Mae Among the Stars, which was inspired by Mae Jemison, the first African American woman to travel into space. Roda’s desire for more diversity in children’s literature compelled her to found Hightree Publishing, which has published numerous books where all children can see their sweet faces reflected. In her interview, Roda tells us about her forthcoming book, Daniel’s Dream, which she co-authored with the chef, Daniel Humm.
Roda is also the founder of The Silent Writing Retreat in Malibu, where I’ll be the guest author on January 10, 2026, sharing everything I know about writing—or at least as much I can fit into one long day together. I wrote all about the retreat in my recent newsletter, but the big news today is that Roda is giving away a free spot at the retreat. If you’re interested in joining us, you can submit your entry for the free spot giveaway here. The deadline is Sunday, November 23rd and the winner will be drawn at random and announced on Monday, November 24th—so do it today if you want to come write with us in silence and beauty.
Speaking of which, Roda has some things to tell us about both of those things. I hope you enjoy her beautiful interview as much as I do.
xCheryl
Tell us about a time when you took advice that turned out to be really good or really bad.
Nearly fifteen years ago, my dear friend Erling Kagge and I were out for a long walk when he shared about a revolutionary experience — 52 days in total silence, exploring the North Pole. He asked me if I had ever practiced silence or been to a silent retreat. “It’s really good for you,” he said.
If you know me, you know I love talking. I’m a true people person who loves connecting with others, so the idea of visiting a place where I’d be with people but couldn’t talk sounded like a challenge. At that time in my life, I was really looking for ways to push myself, so I took Erling’s advice and signed up for a week-long silent retreat in Sedona. It was early spring, and the thought of being alone in beautiful, budding nature sounded like a dream. The only two sounds a day would be the gong that rang when it was time to gather for the optional, hour-long meditations.
The first day, I felt like I was going insane. I never noticed how many open tabs existed in my mind at once. One for each child, husband, family member, friend, and to-do list item. My brain kept a never-ending list. I wanted to scream. It was like having a Shakespearian dialogue with myself in multiple languages. I was constantly running lines and rewrites. It was, to be honest, one of the hardest days of my life. I’d voluntarily exposed myself to something so horrible, by choice. It was dumb — and ironically, so far from silent. I left the next day, thinking it was the worst advice I’d ever taken.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d let myself down, that I’d given up too easily, so I went back in the fall to try again. By day two, the crazy calmed down, and a peace washed over me. I could hear my inner voice; she was soft, observant. I could hear the difference between the bird songs. I could feel the speed of the wind. I could feel the sun warm my face. It was as if time slowed down a bit, and I could be in it — fully. It transformed me, reminded me of who I was and what was available to me, beyond that never-ending list.
Every year since, I’ve gone away for a few days to disconnect from the world and connect deeply back to myself. I’ve even started my own silent writing retreat to offer that same experience to others. It’s for anyone who feels the call to write, no matter their experience level or skill set. I even bring in inspiring guests to speak, as you well know, dear Sugar, as you’re going to be my next guest author!
Turns out, that really bad advice was actually pretty good.
Tell us about a personal transformation in your life or a change that you’ve made for the better.
When I became a mother, I naively thought that my writing life would merely be put on hold. I thought that once the kids were old enough to go to school, I could spend a few hours writing uninterrupted every day. It will come as no shock to all you mothers out there that I quickly found out that dream was nothing but a dream. By the time I got my kids ready for school, dropped them off, had coffee, and worked out, half the day was already gone and it was time for pickup again.
Eventually, I realized that I had all these books and stories screaming loudly inside me, desperate to come out, and that time was fleeting. As a mom, no one was going to make time for me — I had to make it for myself. So ten years ago, I changed my routine to wake up before my kids. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried waking up before a six-year-old that spent eight hours of the night occupying your bed like a royal, leaving you with half a duvet and a pillow under your head if you were lucky, but if you have, you know that it takes the strength of a thousand suns and a healthy dose of luck.
At first, I got only one hour. But it wasn’t the amount of writing or the structure of it that mattered the most. It was that it got done. “Writers write, so let’s go write today,” I’d tell myself.
And as time passed, the kids slept in later, and I got up earlier. Slowly but surely, I found the time to create my own sort of magic. I made the time. This little routine change, as simple as it sounds, changed my life for the better. I now have this golden hour before the world demands of me all my other identities, when I get to be alone with the blank page. It is in that hour that I turn ideas into realties, pages into books, and back to myself.
Tell us about your forthcoming book, Daniel’s Dream.
My next book, Daniel’s Dream is co-written by Michelin chef Daniel Humm. We connected over our love for children and our shared hope that the coming generation will end food insecurity and take better care of our planet.
We also bonded over the fact that we were both kids who didn’t fit the mold — he was too loud, too much; I was a quiet rebel in a big family. Growing up in a family of eight siblings, I was often left to myself and had limitless dreams. If I was home, I loved reading and dreamt of having my name on a book one day. If I was out, I was often off breaking the rules. I wasn’t a very obedient kid and always took “No” as a suggestion I didn’t like. I did outrageous things. Things like sneaking out to the king’s summer house nearby and taking the horses for a ride, without permission and certainly without riding gear.
As dangerous as it was, I like to think following my whims in childhood made me into a more strong-willed and imaginative person today. That’s why I want to inspire kids to do the same. Daniel’s Dream is a book for kids who color outside the lines while other kids in class are happy to follow the rules. The main character, Daniel, can’t help but follow his heart. There are no rules for dreams.
Tell us about a regret you have or a mistake you’ve made.
I had the privilege of attending a book reading with Toni Morrison in 2008. I got a chance to meet her and have her sign my book. It was a big moment for me, both because I’d just published my first novel, and it was an instant Norwegian bestseller, and because she was my favorite author and the reason I wanted to become a writer. I told her all of this and thanked her for inspiring me.
I’ll never forget her smile and her “WOW, congratulations!” She asked if it was translated, and I said yes; I’d received an unofficial translation for my birthday. “Send it to me,” she said. She wrote down her address on a piece of paper. “Send it to me — I would love to read it.”
Toni Morrison wanted to read my book.
I left the event in awe of her knowing about my existence. I was determined to send my novel to her later that week. But that week turned into weeks, into months, and then into years…
I really wanted to send it. It had become required reading at schools, taught and analyzed in universities. But the truth no one knew was that my novel had caused such harm in my family. Both my grandmother and mother were illiterate and disapproved of me becoming a writer, and even though it was fiction, some family members found fragments of themselves in it. I was a new writer, a daughter of immigrants that treasured pride and privacy, and writing stories was closely attached to shame. I hadn’t yet learned to defend my own voice, and I didn’t yet understand that my dream could hold such consequences.
It was the most celebrated time of my life and the most painful one at once. I wanted to send my book to Toni Morrison, but I kept telling myself it wasn’t the right time, the right translation, or the right version of me. I didn’t think I was worthy of the time she’d spend on my work. I didn’t believe I deserved to be read by a woman whose words had changed the world.
The years went by, and one day, beloved Toni Morrison passed away, as did my chance forever.
In the midst of moving, I recently rediscovered that translated manuscript. And I thought of how much I’ve changed. I’ve outgrown that girl who was scared of being read, scared of the power of her stories, scared of how people saw themselves in the pages. I understand now that shame comes from survival. And that bravery skips a generation. I wasn’t brave enough back then to send Toni my book, but I grew to become brave enough.
If this happened today, I would send it with a note of gratitude. And that growth is what matters most. So I’ve learned to live softly with my regrets. My grandmother and mother couldn’t read and write, but I became a writer, and my books paid for my daughter’s college. I’m proof that in one generation, we can rewrite an ending. Regrets are just part of the story.
Tell us your best advice.
Always choose love. Love is at the center of everything I do and write and am, and I believe it is at the center of every good piece of advice that’s ever been given. When I’m off balance, in fear, in conflict, overstretched, or overwhelmed, love is the thing that brings me back to peace. Love is what makes me remember the women who came before me, the ones who shaped me, lifted me, and taught me how to stand in my own light. It holds infinite power. It strengthens, softens, and restores.
So whatever you do, let love be the place you return to. Choose it in your words, in your art, in your work, in the way you show up, in how you treat yourself and how you treat others. Choose love not because it’s easy, but because it’s the only thing that endures. In the end, love is the only thing that lasts and the only thing worth choosing again and again.
Roda Ahmed was born in Hargaisa, Somalia and, as a child, moved to Norway with her family and seven siblings. A graduate of the Norwegian University of Technology and Natural Sciences, Ahmed has mastered five languages: Somali, Arabic, Norwegian, English and French. Her debut novel, “Forberedelsen” (The Preparation), was published by Gyldendal Norsk Forlag in Norway and became a bestseller. Her first children’s book Mae Among the Stars, was published in the US by Harper Collins in 2018 and is now in its 27th printing. In addition to her writing, Ahmed is the founder of The Silent Writing Retreat and also Hightree Publishing, which is committed to bringing more diversity and inclusiveness into children’s books. She lives in southern California with her family.