For purpose of this all names are anonymous!! Also sorry it’s a long one
My (25F) sister (21F) well call her poppy and her now husband (22M) got eloped last year after the birth of my beautiful niece (1). Now poppy has never wanted a big wedding much to my families dismay as she’s a very private person who likes her own space. Poppy and her now husband we will call him Daniel got married with a few close friends around them, I wasn’t in attendance due to having a child and I don’t drive. My grandmother and my mother found out about it and were BEYOND pissed. They felt angry about not getting a say in poppys wedding and insisted that she throw a wedding party as she “left them out of her wedding” for reference they both knew that she was eloping.
ANYWAYYY my sister was open to having a wedding party to celebrate but insisted it be a small get together and be budget friendly due to her finances. I was the main person planning it exactly to how she wanted it and even paying for some of it to help her out. My grandmother found out I was planning it and demanded to be included even though we asked both her and my mother multiple times to be involved so we agreed.
My sister wanted everything to be black and gold due to her dress being black, she looked stunning, my grandmother however insisted that it be an extravagant party with traditional colour schemes and berated my sister on her untraditional dress and theme. This is where I might be an a-hole as well as later on, I told my grandmother that if she can’t align her opinions with what my sister wants then she cannot be involved with the planning. She got upset and angry started screaming at me for not listening to reason so she refused to help with the rest of the planning. Fine with me.
The day comes and I was at the venue for 4 hours setting up food decorations and everything else until it was how we envisioned it. Once done I went home to get ready. When I arrived back however I found ALL the decorations had been taken down and replaced with all white ones the food had also been sealed from buffet food that my sister requested to a full banquet meal. My sister then walks in and immediately gets upset as this wasn’t what we discussed or talked about. To make things worse my mother and grandmother arrive and start talking down to my sister claiming she’s shaming the family with her theme and she’d already done enough by running off to get married.
My sister got upset and went to the bathroom asking me that she no longer wanted to do this and didn’t want the guests who were there to see her upset, so…. I snuck her out the back and went to tell Daniel that she was waiting for her as she wasn’t going to stick around I then announced it to the family told them to enjoy the food and drink and walked out of the venue.
The whole day I was hounded and berated for “ruining” the event being called an AH for letting poppy run off again but honestly I couldn’t see her upset like that so AITA