Tifanny Castillo and Blaire Frett first met on their initial day of classes in public health at UC Berkeley in August 2021. Each was pursuing a dual masters degree; Castillo in public health and social work, and Frett in public health and city planning.
It was Frett’s response to an icebreaker in their orientation seminar that struck Castillo as endearing. When asked about their favorite activity of the summer, Frett (who uses they/their pronouns) told of cherished time spent with their nieces and nephews. Castillo then reached out to Frett and invited them to join her birthday picnic at a lake the following week. A bit of time alone at the birthday party ignited the spark between them and the two then planned their first date for the following week.
That first date lasted three days.
Frett’s parents are Donna and Gene Frett of Evanston. Frett is a 2012 ETHS graduate. Castillo is the daughter of Reina Aceituno of Helmetta, New Jersey.
The pair continued to see each other regularly throughout the late summer and early fall, with Frett occasionally asking Castillo to be their girlfriend. Castillo was a bit nervous and “I kept pretending not to hear them,” she said with a laugh. By October 2021, they were officially a pair and by December of that year they travelled to Florida together to meet Frett’s extended family, including their then 100-year-old grandmother (Granny).
The trip was a huge success and Castillo and Granny bonded over their shared love of Slavic cooking, something which took Granny quite by surprise, given Castillo’s Honduran roots.
Frett works in Oakland, California as a project manager for a nonprofit focusing on affordable housing options for the unhoused. Castillo formerly worked at the Center for Empowering Refugees and Immigrants, also in Oakland.
Frett and Castillo continued to date and enjoy their loving and welcoming community, consisting of many queer and trans people in Oakland. The pair discussed the pros and cons of getting married and ultimately decided to become domestic partners in 2022. Domestic partnership in California grants the same rights and benefits as married couples.
It was on a Frett family trip to Ireland that the topic of marriage became front and center when Frett’s brother asked, “So when’s the wedding?” At this point in the relationship, “Both families knew that we were clearly in love and obviously going to be together forever,” Frett explained. Despite the couple’s own trepidation about getting married, they began to see marriage as a means to share and celebrate their love with family and friends and to define it in their own unique way.
While dating, Castillo’s mother witnessed the couple’s love and commitment for one another and presented Frett with her own engagement ring, one of her few cherished possessions. It was given to Frett with a declarative: “You’re going to marry my daughter,” they explained.
It was over Thanksgiving weekend in 2023 that a surprise proposal took place. The pair were in Evanston for the holiday and both sets of parents were to be meeting each other for the first time. Frett arranged for family and friends to meet at Evanston Creative Coworking for a surprise engagement party, while distracting Castillo with supposed dinner plans. Convincing Castillo to get a drink before dinner, Frett, with hiding guests, proposed to Castillo at the event space, having decorated it with a gallery wall of photos of the two of them. A dinner at Double Clutch Brewery in Evanston followed for the entire group.
Frett and Castillo were married on Aug. 30 at the Piedmont Community Hall in Piedmont, California. Charity Whyte, a friend of the couple, officiated in front of 200 guests, nestled under the soaring redwood trees. A traditional Honduran dance troupe taught guests the Punta (Honduran dance) at the welcome party the night before at a local Oakland brewery.
Additionally, friends of the couple designed their wedding outfits, a gorgeous suit for Frett and stunning wedding dress for Castillo. Instead of flower girls, friends served as flower fairies, adorned with wings as they accompanied the couple down the aisle.
The wedding celebration was marked by many incredibly poignant touches, most of which paid homage to the gay and trans community that the couple considers home and family. To honor a tradition deeply rooted in the gay community, guests were treated to portrait photography sessions throughout the event. Before dinner and dancing, Frett and Castillo dazzled their guests with a lip-sync rendition of Luther Vandross’ Never Too Much.
Guests were then challenged to their own lip-sync battle to the Tammy Terrell song Ain’t No Mountain High Enough with table winners getting first dibs at the delicious paella dinner.
Speciality cocktails, including the Topless Chismosa, Bottomless Hermosa and Fruity by Nature were served out of a horse trailer-turned bar. Local drag king, St. Germaine, kicked off the dance party with a special performance that brought everyone on the dance floor. To keep the night going, a festive afterparty was held at The White Horse Inn, the oldest gay bar in the country. California based wedding planner Taylor Saucedo assisted the couple in the many incredible details.
Castillo and Frett have grown together as a couple and share many similar feelings about their love for one another. As the relationship developed and evolved, so too, did each of them. Frett noted Castillo’s welcoming personality and her tendency to be “always 100% supportive,” they explained. “I have come out as trans and my process would not have been nearly as smooth without the support of Tiff. She always holds me in my most authentic self,” they added.
Castillo’s love for Frett is rooted in their positive outlook on other people. “They always see the best in others and they make you feel like the most important and beautiful person in that moment,” she said. Additionally, “their love has made the ups and downs so much easier. They are rooted in family and friendship and it’s a gift to be with them,” she said. Castillo and Frett understand the challenges that face them and are steadfast in their belief that they are always growing together and stronger as a pair.
The couple, who will use the surname Castillo-Frett, reside in California with the possibility of moving their love to Evanston sometime in the future.