(I want to put the disclaimer up top that I’m 100% confident that my mom doesn’t have any romantic or sexual feelings towards any idols. She treats them like sons. It would be a whole new level of concern if that element was in the picture.)
Over the past 6 months, my mom has changed. It’s really weird, because she’s been a casual follower of kpop for nearly a decade now. She liked a lot of the music I did, and we sometimes watched shows together. But after we watched K:Contact, she went down this Youtube crack/Koreaboo/Quora rabbit hole to find out about one group she liked. Now she hardcore stans three groups she barely even knew before.
Her behavior is pretty standard stan stuff. She’s convinced she truly knows idols’ personalities, she defends them no matter what, has blinders on whenever they’re accused of something. She treats them like precious babies that can never be criticized or joked about lest their feelings get hurt. She’s less interested in her other hobbies, though she hasn’t cut them out completely yet. But she’s trending in that direction.
I’ve tried to gently push back against unreliable sources of information and reminded her that what we see of idols is not unfiltered reality. I remind her of where I get my news (Soompi and properly-sourced Youtube videos) to imply those are better. She still goes back to the same places. When I say that maybe idol X did do wrong, she either dismisses me and changes the subject or gets sad and quiet. She actually got mad at me when I said that there MIGHT be some truth to a bullying allegation, which was kind of crushing because 1) she’s never gotten mad at me when talking about pop culture and 2) she knows about my past with bullying, so you’d think she’d be a bit more sympathetic to potential victims.
I know she isn’t hurting anyone else with her behavior. She doesn’t even participate in online communities, just lurks. But it makes me sad, because she was always fair and intelligent, and now it’s like her critical thinking is on par with a teenager’s. And I guess I feel responsible because I’m the one who brought kpop (and recently, K:Contact) into her world. Like I feel I should have protected her somehow, and now it’s too late?
Anyone else know any older people (not exclusively family) who became stans? Do you think this’ll be a short phase like it often is with teenagers? I’m kind of worried that it’ll only get worse as she gets older and more gullible.