Hi y’all! Welcome back to the r/indieheads Album of the Year 2020 Write-Up Series, the daily series where the users of r/indieheads talk their favorite albums of the year throughout the duration of December. Up today, we’ve got u/feetarejustshithands discussing one of two releases this year from Matmos member Drew Daniel, Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase.
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Background by u/feetarejustshithands
The Soft Pink Truth is a solo project from Drew Daniel, one of the two founding members of experimental electronic outfit Matmos. On Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? Daniel takes a different approach than on previous records, employing help from musician friends such as Angel Deradoorian, Jana Hunter, Koye Berry and Andrew Bernstein, among others.
Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? was recorded in Baltimore, MD. The album was released on May 1st, available via Thrill Jockey. There are two mixes available, one mixed for vinyl that contains two seamless tracks on sides A and B respectively. Streaming platforms have the track list broken out into 9 individual tracks. In my opinion the vinyl mix is the better listening experience, but the seamless mixing can also be found digitally on Bandcamp.
Review by u/feetarejustshithands
When Paul asks the fledgling church of Rome “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?”, it’s meant to be rhetorical; a dramatic reminder that their wicked, self-serving ways are supposed to be behind them. Yet for so many of us, especially those in the houses of the so-called holy, being a selfish asshole has become a social rhythm of everyday life. One need look no further than the malignant ways we have treated one another throughout the generational disaster that was 2020. Paul’s question, asked now, could come off as deeply cynical.
In the opening moments of Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase?, the question is floated repeatedly by heavenly voices, echoing warmly like a two-edged mantra, convicting and counseling in equal measure. The answer that follows is a 40-minute baptism of ambient, mixed-media protohouse; the fruit of kindred spirits with a thirst for unbound artistic expression, carefully arranged by the project’s mastermind Drew Daniel.
Daniel presents this musical collaboration as a kind of group therapy, with the compositional movements acting as the catalyst driving the session along. By keeping things open and lyricless, Daniel allows the listener to be a co-collaborator as well, injecting their own experiences and circumstances into how the music is interpreted. Perhaps it’s a cosmic coincidence that this album’s release came at the precise time that so many of us would need the kind of therapeutic escape that it offers.
The first time I listened to it, both the title and the artwork reminded me that it had been months since I set foot in a church. Years ago, that realization would have caused me grave existential panic. As the album progressed and I began to fall deeper into it, it occurred to me that I didn’t feel any sort of panic. In fact, I felt something the church had told me I couldn’t feel without them: freedom. A sense of spiritual agency.
The church my family had been attending for several years was, at the time, virtually broadcasting sermons. We hadn’t bothered tuning in up to that point, and I suspect many others had opted out as well, because the church was already mulling over a return to in-person gatherings. This didn’t sit well with me or mine, so we decided to take a church hiatus until things started to turn around for the better.
Now, as I sat hunched over my work from home table, digesting the back half of Shall We Go On Sinning…, it dawned on me that I really was enjoying free Sundays with my kids, and not in the least bit bothered by a sudden absence of know-it-all preachers shouting scripture at me. Perhaps I didn’t love the church as much as I thought I did. Perhaps I had been looking for an excuse to leave. At this point in our nation’s history, and the political alliances formed by the church over the last three decades plus (and more pointedly, the last four years), who wouldn’t be?
Over the coming days and weeks, I ruminated on the idea of not going back at all. It probably seems like a trivial thing to those who don’t go, but the church has a funny way of pulling you in and keeping you around. They put you into home groups to deepen your connection to other church-goers. Your kids get connected to their Sunday school classmates and their teachers. They send you emails with sermon recordings. They send your kids postcards. They put up supplemental material on Youtube and post stories on Instagram. They have a SEO guy.
Before you know it, you have commitments and obligations. You start volunteering your time and feeling pretty good about the balance on your spiritual ledger. There’s a rush of satisfaction when other volunteers tell you what a good job you’re doing, which in turn allows you to feel less shitty passing an empty collection plate. It becomes a delicate dance of earnestly seeking the truth, and faking it to fit in. Being a good person, and hoping to get by just looking like one. Sinning, and grace increasing.
So what happens when an outside force shuts down all these systems designed to keep you in a pew and happily donating? To the maximally engaged, it’s merely a test of faith. They are willing to risk their life (and the lives of others) for their beliefs, and won’t let a silly virus keep them from the house of the Lord. For those on the fringe like myself, it’s an eye-opening wake up call. Differences in beliefs that once seemed like a small speck now feel like a wooden plank, and feelings you once suppressed for a sense of community now become impossible to ignore.
As I started coming to terms with a life outside of church influence, I kept coming back to Shall We Go On Sinning… as a place of comfort. Deconstructing an already shaky faith can be a messy affair, and the highs and lows of the music seemed to mirror a lot of what I’ve been going through. There are moments of peace and comfort, like the wet piano arpeggios of “On”. There are times of intense disquiet and doubt, like the abrasive horns of “Sinning”. There are also moments of sudden breakthrough, like the explosive final moments of “Grace”.
This very unique balance of feelings ranges from a meditative zen to ritual dancing. Though it seems paradoxical on paper, the album hits an equilibrium between the two extremes unlike anything I’ve heard. The use of electronic sounds coupled with acoustic instruments helps to illustrate this, and the lines between the two are blurred in a surprisingly pleasant way. Then there’s the use of sampling and vocal manipulation that give the album a feeling akin to an out-of-body experience, with voices like the disembodied saints echoing from beyond the grave.
I know that everyone’s take on the album will be dramatically different. For me, as I’m going through this spiritual deconstruction, and so many terrible and difficult things are happening in the world around me, this album feels like nestling by a fire in a hollow of a dark and sinister wood. It’s no gospel or philosophical answer, but it gives me a moment to pause and regroup before plunging myself back into the darkness.
It’s also a reminder that I have time to sort out my existential quandaries, and that corporate pursuit of the divine can occur outside of the bounds of a church or religious establishment. I don’t know where my spiritual journey will take me post-pandemic, or who my new “church” will include, but the prospect of newness and exploration and uncertainty can be exciting. Scary, sure, but exciting also.
A lot could change in the months and years to come, but a lot is probably going to stay the same too. We’ll still live in a hotly divided country, there will still be people living gluttonous lives while others suffer, and there will still be artists trumpeting ceaselessly into the void, doing their damndest to push back the darkness around us whatever way they can.
Talking Points
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What has your listening experience been like with this album? What emotions do you feel as it progresses?
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Is there a picture or scene in your head while you listen? Can you describe it?
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Has a song or album ever helped you get through something difficult you were facing? How/why did it affect you during that time?
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Do you have a creative outlet that is helping you get by right now? What sort of things do you like to create?
Thank you to u/feetarejustshithands for another excellent writeup today! Up next, we’ve got u/mr_grission discussing the latest mashup hellscape from Neil Cicierega, Mouth Dreams. In the meantime, discuss today’s album and write-up in the comments and check below for the rest of the series’ schedule and completed write-ups.
Completed
Date Artist Album Writer 12/1 Fiona Apple Fetch the Bolt Cutters u/roseisonlineagain 12/2 Car Seat Headrest Making a Door Less Open u/ReconEG 12/3 The Microphones Microphones in 2020 u/radmure 12/4 Owen Pallett Island u/BornAgainZombie 12/5 Perfume Genius Set My Heart on Fire Immediately u/Pianist-Euphoric 12/6 Phoebe Bridgers Punisher u/American_Soviet 12/7 Hot Mulligan You’ll Be Fine u/darianb1031 12/8 Bill Callahan Gold Record u/stansymash 12/9 Jónsi Shiver u/thesaboteur7 12/10 Dogleg Melee u/stringfellow2316 12/11 Elysia Crampton ORCORARA 2010 u/vulni0000000 12/12 Adrianne Lenker songs u/danpono 12/13 Trevor Powers Capricorn u/The_Lords_Favourite 12/14 Fleet Foxes Shore u/smasherx 12/15 Illuminati Hotties FREE I.H: This is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For u/ClocktowerMaria 12/16 My Morning Jacket The Waterfall II u/ProbablyUmmSure 12/17 Andy Shauf The Neon Skyline u/thedoctordances1940 12/18 Geographic North A Little Night Music: Aural Apparitions from the Geographic North u/WaneLietoc 12/19 Destroyer Have We Met u/LordAlpaca 12/20 Christian Lee Hutson Beginners u/waffel113 12/21 Tim Heidecker Fear of Death u/sara520 12/22 HAIM Women in Music Pt. III u/gyrk12 12/23 Tennis Swimmer u/danitykane 12/24 The Soft Pink Truth Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? u/feetarejustshithands
Schedule
Date Artist Album Writer 12/25 Neil Cicierega Mouth Dreams u/mr_grission 12/26 Oneohtrix Point Never Magic Oneohtrix Point Never u/modulum83 12/27 Cindy Lee What’s Tonight to Eternity u/PearlSquared 12/28 Sufjan Stevens The Ascension u/beelerspace 12/29 Dirty Projectors 5EPs u/PieBlaCon 12/30 The Strokes The New Abnormal u/remote_man 12/31 Róisín Murphy Róisín Machine u/LazyDayLullaby