As the title says, it’s been a year since we last spoke and over a year since we broke up.
In that time: She’s moved several states away, been with a new partner she met out there, and broke up with said new partner. I’m unsure of her current status as she’s deleted her socials. (That breakup must’ve been messier than ours.) I don’t really care that she was with someone else in that time since it’s not like we were each other’s first partners anyway.
Time didn’t heal this wound. I still think of her often and would do anything to be with her again. No matter which new girl I talked to, nobody was her. I don’t think I’ll get over her and I don’t know if I’ll be happy without her. My feelings just didn’t fade at all, I’m convinced that this is my soulmate. The person I truly wanted to spend forever with.
Honestly, I’m terrified. This conversion will likely not go in my favor and I know that, but I did what I was “supposed to do” and let her go and tried to move on. I just never stopped missing and loving her as much as I did day 1.
I looked at it this way. I spent a year without her and I miss her dearly. If I don’t ever make any attempts to reach out again, I will have a 100% chance of continuing to live without her and continuing to miss her. If I reach out, I get a 0.0001% chance of being with her again, which is better than the 0% odds of not reaching out.
Worst case scenario, I’m right back where I started.
Convince me not to, or help me figure out what to say. I’m open to hearing all opinions on this. I know some of you broke no contact and it worked out, but I also know plenty of you broke no contact and it didn’t. Help me out here folks.