I am completely at a loss. My husband who has been my best friend and soul mate for 15 years ended our marriage.
He is staying with his mum, barely has any stuff and has left everything at home.
He started with the I love you but not in love with you line. In my mind that means the spark is gone as we are wrapped up in everyday life, kids etc. Life is hard we both work full time, have a demanding 3 and 6 year old.
After he said this, we had an amazing week together and bonded well. Then all came to blows one night where he kept threatening suicide and left in a rage. Next day he ended it.
He stopped his medication suddenly a couple months prior.
He will not try and work on our marriage. Everytime I ask to not make decisions when he is severely depressed he yells and screams and tells me to stop. This has been going on 4 weeks and everyime I try to talk about everything he won’t answer, says it’s over and there’s no trying. It’s like he suddenly projected all his hurt in life onto our marriage. We were happy, lockdown took a toll on him and he was diagnosed as severely depressed. He has a lot of childhood trauma. We were always open and spoke about everything. He has changed into someone I don’t know. It’s like the man I married literally died in front of me.
I’ve taken on the load of everything while he’s tapped out and he couldn’t care less. I snapped tonight and told him I’m completely done as he won’t have a rational conversation about everything so I can move on with my life.
This is emotional torture for me, so I’m cutting all contact now. One minute he didn’t blame the marriage and said he’s numb to everyone and everything and the next it’s over its over I’ve told you a million times.
If it was a toxic marriage, if there were major issues I would accept and move forward and wouldn’t of been fighting.
He has mentioned he’s worse since he left our home. He’s on week 4 of his medication again and his dose has been upped as he is worse.
He makes me feel like I’m crazy and he keeps saying I’m pushing. He has no idea the effect of all of this on his family. I snapped tonight as I have the full time pressure of 2 demanding kids and a high pressure job.